Cheryl Cole has revealed she was "relieved to be dying" during her fight with malaria.
In Cole’s autobiography, Cheryl: My Story, she speaks openly about her life-threatening ordeal with malaria, which she contracted after a safari holiday in Tanzania taken with best friend Derek Hough.
In extracts of her autobiography published in The Sun, Cole reveals the seriousness of her illness:
"Both lungs were filled with fluid, my liver three times normal size and I was five minutes from needing life-long kidney dialysis. I didn’t know that then, thank God," Cheryl writes.
"I can clearly remember asking the nurse if I was dying – and feeling relieved when she said ‘It’s a possibility’."
Delirious and exhausted, Cole remembers "accusing the doctors of trying to kill me."
"A guy held an oxygen mask on my face, but I said: ‘I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to kill me. Don’t think I’m stupid’."
So resigned to death, Cole instructed her mother: "‘I’m gonna write me will. Bring paper, I need to tell you what to do’. I was matter of fact. I was so over it by now – too tired to take any more."
Cole spent four days in intensive care, where her condition improved. She then had a week of respite care in the London Clinic.
"I did a lot of thinking there, making connections I’d never thought of before - and they disturbed me."
"’Who the hell am I?’ I said to Derek eventually. My whole life had been like a mad roller coaster ride."
"Being in here was just the latest example. You couldn’t make it up. I’d had enough … I just had to work out how to change my life."
Cole’s autobiography Cheryl: My Story by Cheryl Cole is released on October 11.
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